A Simple Round of Poker
by lochrann
Summary: Thats exactly what it is. Some manly conversation, therefore warnings for bad language and weird subjects.


Edit: Fixed the spelling 'cause I finally found out how to do it effectively, thanks to all the tips I got in reviews. I really am a little slow when it comes to computers...

**A simple round of poker**

On a spectacularly uneventful day on the Thousand Sunny the lads, consisting of Brook, Franky, Sanji and Zoro decided to kill the time with a game of poker. Neither of them had anything better to do. Sanji had taken care of the ladies, catering to their every need until they had sent him away so as to be able to relax and nap in their sun-chairs, Franky had long finished repairing all the damages their latest marine encounter had brought upon the Sunny, Zoro had tired of both training and napping, though obviously not in a physical sense because his body never got either to much training or sleep and Brook had run out of inspiration for any new melodies and had just resigned to lounging around on deck until Franky had produced a deck of cards.

They had come to the conclusion that inviting the rest of the crew could only turn out to be trouble. Nami and Robin had obviously signaled that they didn't want to be disturbed and playing with an idiot, a liar and a naïve reindeer would probably only ruin their manly little poker round.

Halfway into the game the two oldest members of the crew were clearly winning. The reason for that being that however efficient cook and swordsman were in battle they were utterly useless at this particular card game. Quite surprisingly Zoro was utterly incapable of putting on a poker face. Whenever he grinned menacingly the rest of the players folded before he could even place a bet and if he had a scowl on his face they would mercilessly screw him over. This amazed the newer members of the crew for they had believed that Zoro always put on a poker-face before going into battle so as not to convey his emotions to his opponents and risking them using this against him but apparently he actually was devoid of any fear or bother when charging at the foe. Sanji on the other hand was recognisably very skilled at the game but due to his perpetual bad luck he had not been dealt a single useful hand. Still, both of them were determined to win this and therefore had already reverted to gambling with some of their most valuable possessions. Sanji had some of his best carving knives in the pot and Zoro was prepared to lose one of his more valuable sword-cleaning kits if necessary. They were oblivious to the fact that neither Brook nor Franky would be prepared to take their nakamas' treasuries and therefore sweating in their seats as round by round the pot was filling gradually.

In an attempt to distract his opponents from his rising unease Sanji had struck up a conversation that had turned into a full blown discussion between the ships three resident perverts. Zoro on the other hand had regressed to the attempt of drinking himself into oblivion hoping to eliminate any kind of facial expression so as to have even a slight chance of winning.

"No, listen I'm nowhere near as disgusting as you. In fact, I'm not disgusting at all, I simply take pleasure in admiring the opposite sex but I'm not a pervert like you two!" Sanji said pointing an accusing finger at the musician and shipwright. Franky couldn't just let that go by "What do you mean the two of us. I'm not a pervert. And if you actually only admired the opposite sex I'd totally agree with you but you ogle anything with boobs that comes into a half mile radius of yourself. Then again you're only a teenager with a whole load of pent up sexual frustration."

"Why I would call you a pervert? Look at yourself, you wear nothing but speedos"

"Hey, nothing against speedos and by the way I also wear a shirt..."

But Sanji interrupted him "And what do you mean by 'pent up sexual frustration'? You telling me I can't get any?" This evoked a snort from the swordsman next to him who he didn't grace with a retort but at least glared at.

"I'm not saying you _can't_ get any, you just don't seem to, though" Franky shrugged.

This effectively silenced the cook for it was true. He had some difficulties remembering when he actually had last got himself laid. _Stupid rubber captain, _it had been so much easier on the Baratie where most of the women came looking for a rogue cook to fulfil some of their fantasies.

"If I may interject, why would you consider me a pervert?" The rest of the men looked at the skeleton incredulously. When Sanji realised that he hadn't been joking he got a little agitated.

"For starters, you know nothing about charm. You don't even introduce yourself before asking about girls' panties. I mean what happened to first and second base? And then, though I really don't even want to mention it, you're not wearing any. I mean have a look at yourself. I can see your pelvic bone. Every time I look at you I get horrible mental images of what I would be seeing were you not a skeleton. Honestly, why not at least pull up your trousers a little?"

"You know" mused Franky "He might have a point. Could it be that you've been missing a pair of pants all this time is why you started obsessing over them so much"

"Even if so" Zoro grumbled while looking at the five cards in his hand and trying to decide on which of them to swap "he must have been a pervert before that because if he were normal he'd just get himself some underwear and stop bothering perfect strangers. And anyway if that were actually the reason then why is it women's and not men's pants he obsesses over" but he halted at that very moment cringing with the rest of them as they all imagined how it would go down if Brook kept bothering them about what they wore underneath. Even Brook seemed to be slightly appalled by that image. "Sorry..." Zoro mumbled as he picked up the three cards Franky had dealt out to him.

The others were just about to resume the conversation when Zoro shot up sending his chair clattering to the floor and slammed his cards onto the table. "This is just ridiculous" he shouted out, even catching the attention of Luffy, Usopp and Chopper who had just been running by due to whatever game they were playing. "I hate this game. These cards are even worse than the ones I just swapped. Ahgh, you win. I give up. You can have my stuff!" With one last huff he stormed off to go train because now their was nothing else he wanted to do more than work out his anger.

After their curiosity had been piqued the three youngest crew members had somehow managed to talk their way into the game, after all there had been a vacant seat. And as expected it had been incredibly annoying to play with them because Chopper couldn't get his head around the fact he was supposed to betray his nakama, Usopp got disqualified for trying to win with five aces and Luffy just acted utterly stupid not understanding the rules whatsoever. But the most frustrating thing had been that in the end Luffy won everything after somehow getting two royal flushes in a row and it took them quite a lot of time to convince him not to take his nakamas' possessions to hock them for meat at the next port. They all silently decided they would not be playing that game anymore.

AN: So, yeah. This is a bit pointless and that's what frustrates me a little. Even though there is action and stuff I still feel like nothing is happening. OK let's just pretend this story was about the different grades of perversion in the crew, or actually more important how Brooks trousers stay up, seriously am I the only one who always has to look at Brooks crotch? God, that sounds so wrong... As with everyone else reviews are greatly appreciated. Oh and can someone tell me why after checking it over twice I start finding the most obvious mistakes in the fucking preview when it's already online?


End file.
